An Open Letter to Those in the “Vulnerable” Group

Jen Bleakley • March 20, 2020

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“It’s hard to be told you’re old and vulnerable.”

The words fell in the middle of a funny text from my dad in which he was informing me ( aka his long distance warden) of his plans for the next day and the precautions he would be taking as he ventured to the grocery store during “senior hours.”

And while the text made me laugh, it also shifted something in my heart. And made me wish I could wrap my arms around each and every person in the “vulnerable” group and say these words: 

1) You matter. 

I am so sorry you have heard younger people say things like “The virus only affects old people so I’m going to keep living my life and doing what I want.” Oh how those words must hurt. And how they break my heart and the hearts of so many others. 

For the truth is, this virus affects everyone and our actions affect everyone. And your life matters just as much as someone a few decades younger than you. 

The fact is we need you. Perhaps now more than ever! After all it’s your generation that knows a thing or two about sacrificing for the greater good; about working hard to help others; and about doing what’s right even when it costs you something. 

You may be feeling like you are expendable or past your prime, but my precious friends, that is the furthest thing from the truth. We need you. And you matter. 

2) Your adult children may be acting like long distance wardens, but it’s because we love you and need you so much. 

I never thought I would be telling my parents to stay home and wishing I could ground them

This reversal of roles from our teenage years feels so strange and in some ways so wrong. Yet, if it feels that way to me, I can only imagine how weird and wrong it must feel for you. After all, you’re used to being the ones to give us advice and telling us to be cautious. 

This must feel so upside down. 

But these are unprecedented upside down days and your children and loved ones are scared—scared for you and scared for ourselves. 

So please know that our fear and overprotectiveness is not because we think you are weak or frail or incapable of making wise choices. It’s because we can’t imagine a world without you. 

3) We are still your kids. 

We are also acting a bit overprotective because when it comes down to it, most of us feel as powerless as we did when we were little kids. There is a part of us that just wants to run into your arms and be assured this is all going to be ok. But we can’t do that right now. And so, we nag and plead and lecture. But please know all of that is really just us lifting our arms up to you, asking you to hold us like you used to and tell us it’s going to be ok. 

4) We want to stay connected.  

We want to stay connected to you. That connection might look different for awhile. (And please forgive us for not doing a great job at staying connected in the past.)

But one surprising positive from this pandemic is that it’s causing us to realign our priorities.

It’s also causing us to find creative ways to stay connected. So please don’t feel like you have to endure this alone. Call. Text. Email. And we will do the same.

And if you’re feeling lonely, odds are someone else is too. So reach out. Stay connected.

We will get through this together—even if it’s a virtual together.  

5) Please take care of yourselves (we don’t want to be left here with a bunch of millennials and younger generations to lead us through this!!!)

No offense to the millennials or younger generations! (I happen to love many people in those generations—including my own children. And I truly believe there are many in that category that are doing awesome things and will become extraordinary leaders!) but they will only become extraordinary leaders by learning from those who have gone before them. 

We need your wisdom, experience, counsel and expertise. 
We need your humor, perspective, knowledge and common sense. 
We need your compassion, determination, work ethic and love. 

We need you. 

And we need you to take care of yourselves so you will be here to help us figure out how to move on with life when all of this is over—and how to deal with a world that will be forever scarred from this pandemic. 

And who better to help us figure out how to cope and recover as a nation than those who were born during the great depression, graduated during World War 2, raised a family during the Vietnam War, and navigated the days and weeks after the assassination of JFK?

Yes, you may be in the “vulnerable” category, but you are the most capable and strong generation we have. And any other message you receive is—as an older friend would say— utter hogwash.  

So, I pray you feel loved today.
I pray you feel seen.
And I pray you stay well. 

We love you and we need you. 

Much love,
Jen

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