If you realize you've let social media control your life, don't throw your shoe at your husband…

Jen Bleakley • June 14, 2019

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I wanted to throw my shoe at my husband. But thankfully, it’s summer and I wasn’t wearing shoes. 

His words had elicited a visceral response in me—my first clue that they had merit. However, the moment the words, “Do you really need to post so much?” left his mouth, I had stopped listening. 

We had been having a discussion about social media. And I was second-guessing whether or not I should have shared something. 

“Babe,” he said, “Maybe sometimes God just wants you to absorb the moment. You don’t always have to post everything.” 

(Cue the shoe-throwing reflex)

I was aghast. 

“You just don’t understand,” I condescended, “I have to post. That’s how it’s done. Social media is part of the deal. You want to be a writer? You gotta grow your platform. You want to grow your platform, and get your book in people’s hands, and share all the words God gives you? You gotta post on social media.” 

He said more words, but sadly I didn’t listen. I was right. I knew I was. 

Wasn’t I? 

Hours passed but his question didn’t. Over time his words melded into a question. Yet the question didn’t come from my annoyingly right sweet husband. And instead of making we want to throw my shoe, it made me want to fall to my knees. 

“Are you trusting in Me or in social media? ”

Mic-drop. 

Heart drop. 

When did I allow the subtle shift to occur? 

When did I buy into the lie that the reach of social media is more powerful than the reach of God? 

When did I start letting social media manage me instead of me managing social media? 

I was dumbfounded, and really glad I hadn’t been wearing shoes earlier that morning because:
1) It is wrong to throw footwear at husbands and
2) (this is kinda hard to admit but…) My husband was right!!

Somewhere along the way I began assigning sovereignty to social media.

And while I know God is in control, my constant scrolling, refreshing, comment / like checking, and lamenting over what and when to post were telling a different truth. A truth which basically said: God is in control, but He needs the help of social media to get the word out about all the things He calls me to write. 

Uh….no. 

No. 

God is in control. Period. 

No qualifiers. 

And while He can (and does) work thru social media, He can also work without it. 

And while some people can do social media with ease and find life-giving joy in posting all the things, others don’t. And. That’s. Ok.
We don’t all have to do things the same way.

There is freedom in answering God’s call to write . We don’t all have to follow the same exact formula!

And sometimes He might actually ask us to do things differently. And again…That’s. OK. In fact, it can be a really good thing! 

This whole shoe-throwing, visceral reaction, mic-drop truth has made me realize that I need to: 1) realign my priorities 2) reassign sovereignty to its proper place and 3) allow myself the grace to walk my own journey with God—even if it doesn’t check all the boxes the writing conferences tell us we have to check. 

For me that will look like a social media fast on Sundays (actually I prefer to think of it as a tithe of my time and my attention…I’m not sure why, other than I could probably talk myself out of a fast, but telling God I won’t tithe to Him feels really gross) 

It will also look like setting certain times throughout the day to check in with social media, instead of picking up my phone 57 times a day to mindlessly check-in! 

It’s a subtle shift—but one I pray will make a huge difference in my heart. 

I’s just one way for me to declare to God that I believe He is bigger and more powerful than social media, including the almighty algorithms! (gasp!) 

I pray it’s also a way for me to fully engage again in my own life. 

I’ve noticed that (for me) when everything becomes a possible post, story, or hashtag, I stop living in the moment and begin assessing every moment. (but that’s just me. Others may find absolute joy and life in posting all the things and that’s great!! Again…there’s such freedom in walking your own journey with God!)

And so while I’ll still post and share and scroll, I am choosing to trust God more than social media. 
And I am going to fight hard to manage my social media instead of allowing it to manage me. 

(and also….I promise I never have and never will throw shoes at my husband! )

Much love,
Jen

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