Read this when you want to quit

Jen Bleakley • May 23, 2019

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I would love to tell you that title is for you. And maybe it is. 

But honestly; I wrote it for me. Because I am prone to forget what I know to be true. 

It’s what I do. 

But I want to remember—I need to remember—and so this is for me (but maybe it’s for you too) 

Dear Jen,
If you are reading this, you are probably feeling a million kinds of done, and equal parts unsure. You are likely questioning everything—your calling, your ability, your influence, your dreams, goals, your journey. And you are undoubtedly contemplating closing your computer and never writing another word. 

I know, we’ve been here before. 

But we’ve also learned some things along the way. Things you need to remember. 

First of all, inhale.
Deeply.
Fill your lungs with as much air as you can. 
Hold it for 5 seconds. 
Now slowly—as slowly as you can—let it out. 

Do it again, but this time close your eyes. And as you exhale say the name of the One who called you to write in the first place— Jesus

Now, picture His face. Ask God to help you become aware of His presence with you right at this very moment. You are the Samaritan woman and Jesus is sitting there at the well.
Walk to Him.
Acknowledge Him.
Sit with Him for awhile.

Tell Him. Everything. 

Tell Him how hard it is to navigate His calling in the noise and chaos of social media. 
Tell Him how easy it is to compare your calling to those of others. 
Tell Him how often you measure your success by numbers, followers, sales, likes, shares and comments—and how often those metrics leave you feeling less than, unqualified, worried and weary. 

Tell Him all of it. Show Him your weariness and uncertainty. Tell Him about every insecurity and doubt. 

And then, wait…..
Breathe. 
Allow the pent up tears to fall. 
Linger with Him at His well. 
Now, scoot a little closer, because He is about to speak to your heart. 

Sweet child,
I see you. I see your weariness and your heart for me. 
And I know that deep down in that well of your heart, your desire is to write, speak, and share my words. And oh how your heart delights me. 
How you delight me. 
Know this My precious one—believe this—My love for you is \dependent on nothing.

My love simply is. It is as real as I AM. 

I love you.
Right now. As you are, I, God Almighty, love you. 

Let your heart look into my face and allow my words to wash over your battle-weary soul. 
And as my words course through your heart, I want you to allow them to push out all the other words, especially your own. 
As you lean into my words, I want you to remember your calling. 

I want you to remember me. 

Sweet one, I did not call you to a platform, I called you to a Person—to Myself.  I did not call you to keep track of numbers, I called you to invest in people.  I did not call you to shine a light on yourself, I called you to point others to Me.  I did not call you to walk someone else’s journey, I invited you on a unique journey with Me. 

The answer for your weariness is not found in giving up. 

The answer for your weariness is Me. 

Stop writing for others. Write for Me. 
Stop sharing for others. Share for Me. 
Stop comparing to others. Talk to Me. 
Stop being envious of another’s journey. Walk with Me. 
I love you.
I have a plan for you.
And I am most delighted in you. 

You are infinitely more than the sum of man-made numbers.  You are mine and I am yours. 

And if I ask you to write just for Me, and you do it, you are a success! 

For true success is loving and obeying me. 

So go on and write. But do it for Me. 

And trust that if I want others to hear the words I give you, I will ensure they hear them. But the results, my sweet one, are mine. 
You just write, speak, and share what I give you, and trust me with the results. 
And above all, remember who you are:  You are mine and I love you more than you can know. 


Friend, your journey may look very different than mine. Maybe writing struggles and social media insecurities aren’t the cause of your battle-weariness today, but whatever has your heart weighed down, I pray you feel the Father’s arms tighten around you as He whispers His love into the core of your being. And as you feel His love infiltrate your DNA I pray you will feel a renewed sense of strength and a fresh desire to walk hand in hand with Him. Not measuring your worth or value by anything other than the One who created you, who delights in you, and who loves you more than you will ever comprehend. 

Much love,
Jen

ps-I would never presume to put words in Jesus’ mouth, so please know that what I wrote to myself (from Him) is a compilation of months (and years) of study in His word. I drew much from the Psalms, Isaiah, Jeremiah and John to write this letter to myself. (and interestingly, Psalms and Jeremiah are full of exhortations for us to remember God, which really is where this post was born)

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